My Ruin Interview with Tairrie B

I had the pleasure of interviewing Miss Tairrie B via email.  I got the chance to check them out on the tour with Kittie, back in April.    Miss B was kind enough to reply to my email on September 11, 2002.  At the end of this interview, by request of Tairrie, you can read what she wrote in the Immaculate Confessions last year.

What are you guys up to? Have you recorded any new material?
Currently, a lot.  We are about to debut a brand new website that my webmaster has helped me design which I'm excited about.  We have just secured new management and a great booking agent, both here and in the UK...so we are gonna try and get back out on the road ASAP.  We also just got out of the studio.  We have been writing for a long time.  Mick and I are the main songwriters in the band and we have a vision of how we want the next record to sound and what it's going to be about lyrically, so we have been spending lots of time creating the new material.  We then bring it to Yael and Meghan and take it to the next level as a band...everyone has ideas and we try to make it a band effort at the end.  We love all the new songs and the direction that we have been going in as a band.  We work really well together and that's really important when you are creating what will be your next album.  I hate to stay stale...I love the fact that Mick, Meghan and Yael are really up for new ideas.

What can people expect with the next album?
Something beautifully brutal.  I think the next album will show how much we have grown as a band.  I know I have grown vocally and lyrically which always makes me feel like I am moving forward instead of backward.  People who keep doing the same old thing really stay in the same place.  I like to change and reinvent myself through my music on every album.  There will always be a certain common thread which binds me to every record I have recorded, but at the same time I have to try new things in order to be a true artist and true to myself.

Do you have any plans for touring? Who would you want to tour with?
Hmm...any cool band that would have us I guess.  There are a lot of bands I like at the moment.  Also a lot that I do not.  I would just like to tour with people who respect what they are doing and what we do.

How was the tour with Kittie? How did the crowd respond to My Ruin?
The Kittie tour as far as the crowds were fucking amazing.  At some shows we had so many kids there to see My Ruin it was awesome!  These are kids who have never seen us but have had our records for a while.  There were also a lot of familiar faces to me from when I was in my previous band.  I have toured the states a few times in the past and it was great to see certain people again.  Overall the Kittie tour was great for us...We were the only band that had no label or support but we did it all ourselves and all the fans were really incredible.  Our merch was our life saver...it outsold the headliner and all the other bands nightly, which was a huge surprise to us but a wonderful one!  I think we gained a lot of new fans along the way.  A lot of people who had never heard of us got a chance to which was great.   The downfall of the Kittie tour in my opinion was the agency that booked it...really lame!  You find out sometimes that the people you think are in your corner really don't give a fuck about you as an artist and that sucks but oh well, gotta move on.  I hate burning bridges but sometimes people set fire to themselves and there is nothing you can do but remove yourself from that relationship.  I sort of feel that way about certain members of Kittie as well.  When people lie to you, you eventually loose respect for them.  I believe that actions speak louder than words in this business and there are a lot of fakes out there who smile in your face and talk shit behind your back.  It's sad when people show their ass.  I never want to be one of those people.  I let people know exactly how I feel and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing...it's my thing.  Personally I would never wish to tour with Kittie in the future because of the disrespect they showed us at the end of it all.

Does it bother you to constantly be grouped/compared with Otep and Kittie?
Well, I don't think we constantly get compared to either band.  Yes, I am a frontwoman in metal who screams.  I have been doing far longer than both Kittie or Otep.  Morgan is an awesome frontwoman.  She has a killer voice and stage presence.  We sang together on tour and it felt like my little sister was standing next to me screaming on stage.  We watched the tapes backa fter and found it funny how much we moved alike and were not even watching each other.  It was hilarious!   The new bassist Jennifer and guitarist Jeff bring some real metal elements to Kittie.  Jenn is a fucking monster on bass and screams like a death metal chick.   She could front her own band if she wanted to because she has that special "it" thing that a lot of front people wish they had.  The drummer is average as a player and nasty as a person.  I think that Kittie do what they do and it works.  I was surprised to see just how good they really are.  Otep on the otherhand is just funny and I find her whole "Act" a bit contrived and recycled...on many levels.  I think that she is a bit late jumping on the rap-rock bandwagon and will hopefully be gone as quick as she arrived...NEXT!!!

Whats the craziest thing a fan has done for you (or any one else in the band)?
I guess that would be get a tattoo of me.  I met a girl in San Diego who really was really sweet but sort of freaked me out a bit.  The story goes...back in 1998 when I was on tour in the U.S. with Tura Satana (my past band), we did this interview in Houston or Austin?  Anyway, the girl that interviewed us had told me she had been a huge fan of my band for a while.  She asked me what was the one thing that freaked me out a little with fans and I said, "When someone tattoos my face on them...it's weird to me."  Well last year, this same girl contacted us and said she would be flying in from Texas to see my band play in San Diego, so we hooked her up for the show and when I saw her this time, her whole arm was almost sleeved with pictures of me and related imagery from my records.  After remembering what I had said to her years before...that was kinda scary to me.  What do you say?  I feel that tattoos should be really personal to the person.  I understand people get band logos and artists tattooed on them, but I never really understood it.  I guess it's very flattering but for me I feel my body is my temple and I am really careful what I ink permanently on my skin.  Not dissing anyone...it's just a rock band is a rock band that's all.
 

How do you feel about being a "role model" for so many teenage girls?
I don't really feel like a role model.  I have looked at certain artists in my lifetime whom I felt voiced things for me.  If I can do that in turn for someone then it's a great thing.  Inspiration comes in so many ways and people.   I would rather be an inspiration to someone than a role model.  Believe me,    I am no role model!!!

How important is an artist's "image" in relation to music?
I think it's important, to a certain degree.  I think that when your whole musical credibility is because of your image you are a joke!  I cannot stomach most of the lame nu-metal make up bands that are polluting the rock world today.  I think that it's good to have some sort of unity within a band and look like a band and not like you just rolled out of bed.  Everything has been done.  Nothing is new nowadays.   I think true "image" is way beyond what you wear...it is an attitude.   There is no such thing as "New Wave" in 2002, or punk rock as far as I am concerned.  I think there are a whole lot of mixed up bands who are under the impression that they are originating something new and unique image wise and musically when in fact they are just imitating something that was never that cool to begin with.    Also, rap metal was not invented to be a fucking fashion statement and it damn sure did not begin last year!!

What is the band's biggest influence(s) when it comes to writing music?
Mick Murphy...our Southern graced guitarist.

Have you found a new record label yet? Any labels interested?
I cannot answer this question at this time.  We have been talking to certain people and hopefully we will be able to work with the right people who get this band.  We are really protective of the band now...especially me.  I refuse to hand another record over to a label just so it can be raped again like what happend with Snapper in the UK and the licensing of our records to Spitfire in the U.S.  No thanks!!!

Are there any misconceptions about you (or anyone else in the band) & what are they?
I suppose there are a lot.  I work really hard in this band...pretty much 24 hours a day.  There is no room for me to act like a fucking "diva" that is bullshit.  We are not rockstars by any means.  We are four people trying to make music we love and share it with people who will love it too.  I think I have the most misconceptions put on me because I am the frontwoman and I am so outspoken.   I was in the past and will be in the future.  People do not like to hear the truth sometimes.  I always say, "Honesty is the holiest disease", and it's true.   Most artists prefer to keep quiet about how they really feel on certain subjects or people, but I'm sorry this is rock and roll.  This ain't sunday school and I have opinions and thoughts on things.  If having self respect and personal integrity leaves me being called "Hard to work with" or "a loud mouth harpy" then so be it.  When we were on tour with Kittie, Morgan asked me a question during a little game we were playing.  She said, "Do you think you have been blacklisted?"  I told her that in some respects yes, and in some respects no.   This industry is male dominated and I have told many men exactly how I feel about certain situations that I have been put through as an artist whether it be a manager, label person, writer or band member (mine or someone else's) in my time.   Not because I am a bitch, but because they were not doing their job or they were treating me in a mysoginistic manner simply because I am female.  Many of the women I have known or know today in the music business are too afraid to speak up and would rather play that Hollywood game of "Let's pretend and be fake".  I make no apologies for who I am and I can look at myself in the mirror because of it.

Do you have a favorite song to perform/one that means more to you?
Many.  All of my songs have deep meaning to me.  I think that when you perform live that is when your words come to life.  That is when you build that bridge between you and 1 or 1000 people who those same words may mean something totally different to.  But at that moment you have a way to connect with someone.   I may burn bridges but I think I have built a few as well!  "Beauty Fiend" & "Blasphemous Girl" are two of my personal favorites.  Of the new songs I think "Spitfire" and "Hot in the House of God" are really cool live.   We also have these two new songs called "Stinkface" & "Nazimova" which was written in homage to the late silent screen actress, Alla Nazimova.  I think I relate to her on a few levels from what I have read and seen and she just inspired me to write the song.

What bands are you currently into (listening to)?
Hmm...Well Mick and I are always listening to all sorts of stuff.  He has turned me onto some killer music and vice versa.  Our apartment is filled with the music of everything from Boss Hog to Will Haven, Fu Manchu to The Gossip.  We have a pretty wide variety of tastes.  Goatsnake to Morcheeba, Zeke, old Aerosmith...Downset, Blooduster.  Oh yeah, I love listening to Mick's old band, Movement, where he sings and also plays guitar...it rocks!

Any final words?
Yes...sorry if I scared you with all my ranting.  You are a doll and it was so nice meeting you.  Thanks for all the kind words and real support.   It's people like you who get what we do that makes it worth doing.  At the end of the day, it is all about the music and we are happy that people have taken the time to pay attention to what we do.  We really appreciate that and those who have supported us along the way.   You rock sista...thanks again for taking the time to interview me.    Today is September 11, 2002.  And I feel blessed that I am alive when so many people were tragically killed this same day last year.  On that note, please attach something to this piece if you do not mind?  Please attach my Immaculate Confession column from last year.  It is currently posted on our message board in rememberance of this sad day.  In loving memory of those who are no longer with us.

THANKS BABY,

PRAY FOR ROCK

XXX MISS B XXX

- Laurie

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing" -Edmund Burke

September 11, 2001. On the day the earth stood still our phone rang at 8:21 am. It was my friend (and ex-drummer) Marcelo Palomino calling to tell us that the World Trade Centre had been bombed, as well as the Pentagon. Mick and I were half asleep so everything was a bit of a blur until we turned on the television and saw the devastation for ourselves. Reality hit, but the images didn’t seem real. It looked likes scenes from a movie. New York City was a big black and grey cloud of death, but this was no fucking Hollywood movie. The beautiful Manhattan skyline had been forever changed and so had the lives of every American.

My eyes couldn’t believe what they were seeing even after hours had passed. Some say that courage is just fear that has said its prayers. Even all this time later as I write this, I can tell you that I have said my prayers, many prayers. Prayers for the victims and prayers for the survivors. Prayers for my country. My prayers are silent, but they’re louder than my screams could ever hope to be.

I have cried while listening to the endless stories and body counts. It is not a weakness to hurt or to cry it is a human emotion and while 4,970 people are still missing our nation is still crying. After watching the scenes of hundreds of Emergency Services search and rescue teams, fire fighters, police officers and volunteer citizens (some of who were tragically killed themselves in the process) going through mass heaps of heavy metal while listening for a murmur, scratch or thump of someone possibly still breathing beneath the horror I have realized that we have just experienced something so terrible there are not even words to truly describe how I feel.

The videos of this fateful day’s events have left us with images that will forever be burned into our collective retinas. A wounded numbness. Watching so many people plummeting to their deaths from the doom is one of the things I will never forget. It doesn’t matter that I did not know a single person directly involved in the attack because we are all directly involved and affected as Americans.

We were not attacked by a superpower but by spineless pieces of shit who use religion as a weapon and commit murder in the name of God. These people knew they could take lives and sadly, it’s easy to take lives. The ultimate goal of these terrorists is to cripple the US so severely that they could deteriorate and destroy our way of life. It was designed to scare the hell out of us and break the spirit of our country.

Well it succeeded in scaring us, but it will not break us. Freedom is not a four-letter word, but ‘HATE’ is. These people hate us because we are free. We are being warned that these terrorists may strike again with more suicide bombings or something more intense like biological warfare, so as we stand together as a United Nation and try to help one another heal this horrible hurt we must also remember that we must fight to protect the way of life we have worked so hard to make possible.

We have been told to go back to business as usual, but the truth is that it feels so insignificant to be rehearsing for our upcoming shows when our armies are rehearsing for what might possible be World War III. We are a strong people, but we need to be honest about what happened. This is not going to go away and it might possibly get even worse. Our physiological skin tries to help protect us, but right now we have a gaping wound and genuine fear.

God Bless America...land of the free and home of the brave. I feel for the Afghan people who are suffering under the Taliban regime. I hurt for the women who are treated as less than human by men who claim to be holier than thou. While America is focusing on the rage of the situation, we haven’t forgotten the pain or the grief that the families and friends of the victims are still experiencing.

As we are threatened with a Holy War or ‘jihad’, the US has no better friend than Great Britain and no greater enemy than Osama bin Laden. Evil often triumphs but it never conquers. Unchecked it grows, tolerated, it poisons the whole system. As for the rest of the world...they’re either with or against us, and if they’re against us, that means they’re with terrorism.

My thoughts and prayers are with all Americans all over the world and with those who are no longer with us. New York has become a burial ground for thousands and a memory for millions of what evil really is. America is not the great Satan. He’s in a cave claiming to be God-like and although he’s keeping himself well hidden (as cowards often do), we will walk through that valley of the shadow of death until we find him. And we will fear no evil because we are angry, we are strong and we are still the baddest motherfuckers in the valley! Home and away.